Sarvadarshi Insights - Reference giving model for kids growth

Which parent does not want their kids to succeed? Who does not give reference of others to their kids?

Every parent likes to bring their kids to the best possible ways. Specially in Madhwas most parents want their child to be a role model, spiritual, and great personality on the earth. The Satwik tatwa that comes by birth itself thinks in this ways. 

In today's competitive world we often tend to associate with the large types of people who think and aim differently. Most of the crowd today is tending towards Rajasa or Tamasa personality(may be GOD wish for Kaliyuga itself is like that). But, still you find great number of people who want to be satwika only. 

While as a smart parent we want to give our kids great example and references we should know how references are to be given? What type of references normally work and does not work. If you give reference of brother, relative, sister or school mate(who is scoring more marks or good at school) it is called as near reference. If you give reference of a CEO, pandit or saints or Pralhada or Harischandra its called as far reference. 

Near reference: This works good but has major limitations. No one is perfect, your kid would easily get to know the personality that you refer daily and compare and try to find at least one negative in him/her so that he/she can stop you referencing that personality. In search of negative character the kid would focus energy more on negative stuffs and forgets to learn any positive stuffs. Thus, to your surprise you may find that kid learned lots of bad things from a good person!

Far reference: For reference works good but it needs more of your focus and your own approach to tell it correctly to kid. Many parents have taught their kids a great personality building by giving stories of Pralhada, Markandeya, Uddhanka, Nachiketha, Dhruva etc. But, its not that easy. Parents have to study the concept of such stories and have full confidence in the role models you are referring to so that it comes from your attitude or heart when giving reference infront of your kids. Most of our parents have shown us Moon(Chanda Mama) and made our life start with that. By the way why moon? 

• Moon is attractive ( Attractive character )
• Moon is stable, cool & calm ( really great nature to have great health for kids )
• Moon is the one who makes trees grow and seed in the night
• Moon takes effort to rotate around earth to give pleasure ( one who works for others happiness )

So, when you give such far reference to kids focusing on 'characteristics' than telling it like a mythological story it helps them to absorb the values. 

You also might have heard song "Angaladolu Ram aadida chandra bekendu taa hatha maadida" meaning, Sri Ramchandra while a baby(roopa) cries and ask mother koushalya to bring and give Chandra/moon to him. Why he asks moon here? Because, Sri Ramachandra wants to prove that he already has the characteristics that mother is showing in moon and moon has borrowed it from him.  

But for our kids we want it other way round - we want moon to give characteristics to our kids. 

Thus, our itihas(history), puranas(one which praises supreme) have given us a large framework to use for our success.

• Give far references to kids
• Give reference of personality that your kid may know but not so close to them to find their weakness
• Give references of people who came up in life with real Satwik struggle than just became popular like film stars, cricketers etc
• Try to provide discussions that are mo values focused vs. person focused.
• In front of kids never degrade or rate others to low levels ( one day your kid will have low qualities for sure - if you have guts try it)

The education can give money, status, and lots of foolishness(show off to be modern etc) but values will keep your kid calm and enjoy life and handle any thing in much matured ways...

Its our responsiblity to explain characterstics of Rama, krishna, Narasimha than representing them as some one who killed, fought or took away butter & milk from gopikas etc. For this parents have to really learn core of our Madhwa Siddhantha